Beautiful Frustration
by Quziecharmed
Summary: No matter what anyone said he certainly did not stay up all night contemplating who the note was from. Of course, the bags under his eyes the next morning told a different story. Someone is leaving Kurt love letters. Take the journey with him to see who.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I want to start of by thanking ber1719 for her feedback and support. She's amazing, if you haven't already you should check out her stories :) Okay, this is my first story here on fanfiction, so I would appreciate feedback. Constructive criticism is appreciated :) Please tell me what you think about this story, and if you think I should continue. I know it's not a totally original idea but I have a spin on it. What I would like to do is have everyone take this journey with Kurt, I will not be posting who the secret admirer is until the story is finished, and the person will be revealed to Kurt and the readers at the same time. If you don't like that idea drop me a line and I may rethink it. I would love to hear who you think it is or want it to be. Also be aware that the admirer is not necessarily a man. Keep that in mind while reading. Thank you!**

**AN 2: The poem in this chapter is by Nicholas Gordon.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee**

Walking into the choir room, Kurt stopped just as he was about to sit down, someone had left a note on his chair addressed to him. Curious, he opened the note, eyes growing wider the further he read.

_Love me the way I've long loved you,  
>As long as memory.<br>The child next door conceived a love  
>Only you will see.<br>Rare and wonderful this love:  
>Reason not the why.<br>It waits unquestioning for you,  
>Even though I die.<em>

That was it, no signature, nothing to indicate who left it. Who would send him a love note? He'd long since broken up with Blaine, it was amicable thankfully, but there was nothing between them anymore, so it wasn't Blaine. Besides….how would he have gotten it into McKinley's choir room? Finn? Finn is like my brother now, he wouldn't send this. Puck? Sam? Mike? Artie?

Sighing in frustration Kurt sat down and slipped the note into his satchel.

Mercedes and Rachel came in chatting about something or other; Kurt was too distracted to pick up the topic. Although he vaguely saw Rachel go sit by Finn, and Mercedes take her spot by him, he only came back to reality when Mercedes snapped her fingers in his face.

"What?" He snapped. Mercedes face fell and Kurt felt a pang of guilt.

"You looked upset, I was just trying to ask you if you were okay, but you didn't respond to me. I'm sorry." She replied.

"No I'm sorry 'Cedes. I just had a lot on my mind." Kurt smiled softly.

"What's wrong boo?"

"I…I got a love letter. And it's anonymous." The fashionista huffed.

"What? And you took this long to tell me? Oh hell to the no. Hand it over." Kurt obligingly pulled the letter out and handed it to her, watching her face as she read.

"Damn. Whoever this is, they sound like they really love you." She smirked.

"This is not a joke Mercedes!" He complained.

"Sorry, you're right." She apologized.

Mr. Schue walked in then and started talking about this weeks assignment, Kurt only heard the word "duets" before he tuned out, mind going automatically to who the note could be from. While he mentally crossed off every guy he knew the class ended. Kurt looked up, startled as everyone started moving.

"Bad luck Kurt, I hope it's not too bad." Finn said as he walked by, hand in hand with Rachel.

"What?" Kurt called after him, utterly bewildered. "What?" He asked again, this time to Mercedes.

"Boy you got stuck with Schue." Mercedes laughed.

"What? Why?" Kurt sputtered

"Cause there are an odd amount of us now, someone had to or sing alone." Mercedes said still sniggering.

Kurt liked Mr. Schue, but singing a duet with him? I mean, that's going to be all kinds of awkward. Kurt was going to have to find something outside his usual repertoire; he was NOT singing a love song with his teacher.

"Great." The countertenor mumbled as he grabbed his bag and headed to the door. He was stopped by Mr. Schue calling his name.

"Yes Mr. Schue?" He asked politely, turning around.

"I just wanted to say I'm very excited about singing a duet with you. I think it's going to be great. I have a few ideas I'd like to run by you, how about you stop by my office tomorrow after school?" He smiled brilliantly, so big it looked almost painful. Kurt held in his grimace.

"Sure, I'll be here." He turned to go, but Mr. Schue stopped him again. "Yes?" He asked, slightly exasperated. Mr. Schue put his hand on Kurt's shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

"I know it hasn't been easy for you this last year, but I wanted you to know I'm impressed with how you've handled everything, especially since coming back. And please come to me if you need anything, I'm not going to fail you again. I'm keeping an eye out for you Kurt." He said sincerely. And although Kurt appreciated the gesture, he wondered if the fierceness behind those words fell completely on his obligations as a teacher.

"Thank you Mr. Schue. I'll see you tomorrow." He forced out.

While he walked to his car he couldn't help but wonder if the note was from Mr. Schue. Shaking that thought off he continued on to his car.

"Hey Fancy!" Damn it, what was with people today? He just wanted to be left alone, was that so hard?

"What do you want Neanderthal?" He spoke brusquely.

"Sorry dude, I just wanted to let you know you dropped this." He said, holding up some sheet music. Blushing slightly, Kurt took the music.

"Thank you." He mumbled.

"No problem. See ya later, I guess." And with that Karofsky walked away, not once looking back.

Kurt climbed in his car and headed home, rushing quickly to the privacy of his bedroom. And no matter what anyone said, he did not read the note until he had it memorized and even after, and he certainly did not stay up all night contemplating who it was from. He didn't. Definitely not. Of course, the bags under his eyes the next morning told a different story.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the alerts! :) I hope that you're enjoying the story. Again I would love ****feedback; I'm a little worried about the flow and pacing of the story. If someone wants to comment or PM me and let me know what they think I would appreciate it so much!**

**The letters in this chapter are lyrics from the song Yours To Hold by Skillet. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. And no disrespect is meant towards those who do. **

Kurt groaned as he looked at his reflection in the mirror. The dark circles under his eyes were going to require concealer which he hated using. Going through his usual morning prep, Kurt decided he was going to let it go. If he got another note, he wouldn't let himself get so obsessed with finding out who it was. It didn't matter. That's what he had to keep telling himself.

When Kurt finished getting ready he yelled a quick "Bye dad!" on his way out of the house, ignoring the slightly muffled question of whether or not he was going to eat.

Climbing into his car and turning the ignition he caught sight of a paper under his windshield wipers.

"No way." He said aloud before opening the door and retrieving the paper. Settling back into his seat he read the note.

_I see you standing here  
>But you're so far away<br>Starving for your attention  
>You don't even know my name<em>

_You're going through so much  
>But I know that I could be the one to hold you<em>

_Every single day  
>I find it hard to say<br>I could be yours alone  
>You will see someday<br>That all along the way  
>I was yours to hold<br>I was yours to hold_

Stunned, Kurt folded the note and set off for school, only slightly aware of where he was going. When school started Kurt flung himself into his classes with even more intensity than usual, determined to get the letters and the anonymous person out of his mind. He managed to finish his homework assignment for French before class was even over, and re-read the chapter in English twice before the teacher began her discussion.

The rest of the classes until lunch flew by and before he knew it, he was heading to his locker where Mercedes stood waiting looking contemplative and maybe even a little irritated.

"What's up Mercedes?" He asked as he approached.

"You have another one." She said.

"Another what?" In lieu of a response she reached towards his locker and pulled a previously unseen paper off of it. Instead of handing it to him she began to read in a whisper.

_I see you walking by  
>Your hair always hiding your face<br>I wonder why you've been hurting  
>I wish I had some way to say<em>

_You're going through so much  
>Don't you know that I could be the one to hold you<em>

_Every single day  
>I find it hard to say<br>I could be yours alone  
>You will see someday<br>That all along the way  
>I was yours to hold<br>I was yours to hold_

"These sound like lyrics." She said when she finished. "Do you have any idea who it is yet?"

"No." Kurt admitted, grudgingly. "But that's the second letter I've gotten today. I think you're right, I think it _is_ lyrics because part of it repeated from the last one. Here, look." He said, fishing out the paper from this morning and handing it to Mercedes.

"I wonder who it is. I mean, it has to be someone from school right?" She asked.

"Well you'd think so." The fashionista huffed irritably. "But he left the other letter on my car. I found it this morning on my way to school."

"What makes you think it's a guy?" She chuckled.

"Well of course it would be a guy, everyone knows I'm gay." He said bitingly. It would be just his luck that the secret admirer would end up being a girl.

"Just because everyone knows you're gay doesn't mean a girl couldn't fall for you. Remember Rachel and Blaine? And there was the situation with you and me." She reminded him, a blush tinting her cheeks.

"Yes well, that was before I was out. And everyone knows Rachel is delusional, so of course she thought she could get Blaine." He laughed. "But seriously, it has to be a guy."

"Who has to be a guy?" Tina asked, appearing out of nowhere.

"No one." Mercedes and Kurt said together.

"Okay, if you say so. Hey what's that?" She asked, pointing to the papers still clutched in Mercedes hand.

"It's um….my French notes." Kurt said, before snatching the papers and shoving them in his bag.

"But I'm in your French class and we didn't take notes today." Tina said her head cocked in confusion.

"Well I did. I like to make sure I have something to fall back on in case I have a question." Kurt said.

"Oh, okay." She smiled and turned, heading to the cafeteria.

"Shall we?" Kurt asked, holding his arm out in invitation.

"We shall." Mercedes replied, linking arms with the countertenor.

The quietly discussed who the admirer could be, stopping when they reached the cafeteria door at the same time as Puck, who smiled and stepped aside to let them pass. 'Odd,' Kurt thought, 'Puck is never that polite.' When they reached their table they found it nearly full, and squeezed themselves in on the end.

"Hello." Kurt said as he sat down. Puck joined them, and as he sat down he winked at Kurt, making him blush.

"What was that letter I heard you two talking about?" Puck asked, looking between the Mercedes and Kurt. Kurt stared, unable to speak. The last thing he wanted was the whole club to know about it, they'd have a field day.

"What letter?" Mercedes asked, sparing Kurt.

"Sounded like a love letter." Puck smirked.

"It's none of your business Puckerman." Kurt said, blushing furiously.

"Whatever." Puck rolled his eyes and turned to Lauren.

Sighing Kurt pulled out his lunch, he ate in silence, musing. He was intrigued and flattered by the admirer, but he was incredibly frustrated that he didn't know who it was. He was also irritated with himself. This had started yesterday afternoon, it hadn't even been twenty four hours and he was so absorbed in the situation, in the notes, in who it could be and it was getting ridiculous. He wanted to know so badly, but he was afraid of the outcome. What if it was a girl? What if it was someone he hated? How would he handle it and let them down gently if it wasn't someone he liked? Most importantly, who did he want it to be? He hadn't thought of anyone romantically since Blaine. He'd formed a tentative, albeit slightly awkward friendship with Karofsky, and he had gotten closer with Puck; somehow Kurt didn't think it was either of them. First of all, Karofsky was still in the closet and Puck was as straight as they come.

Kurt was pulled out of his reverie when the bell rang. He quickly gathered the remainder of his lunch and threw it in the garbage on his way out.

"Hey Kurt." Finn called behind him. Kurt turned and waited for him to catch up. "Dude, can I get a ride home with you today?"

"Why?" Kurt questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"I, uh…kinda lost my keys." Finn said sheepishly, looking at the ground.

"Fine. But you better not keep me waiting forever, or I'll leave."

"Thanks man, I owe you one." Finn smiled and walked off. Kurt watched him go with a fond smile on his face; Finn really was one of a kind. Shaking his head, Kurt walked to his next class.

Kurt rushed out of his history classroom, hurrying to his locker. The day had been long and frustrating and he wanted nothing more than to go home and relax. Stowing his things, Kurt walked to his car, hoping Finn didn't take very long. Just before he got in his car he was stopped by Mike.

"Kurt! Wait up. I have something for you."

"What's up Mike?"

"I was asked to give this to you." He said dropping a paper into Kurt's outstretched hand.

"Who is this from?" Kurt asked, heart already beating fast in anticipation.

"I dunno for sure man, all I know is Tina gave it to me, who got it from Artie, who got it from Brittany, who got it from Santana, who…." Kurt cut him off holding up a hand.

"I get it; you don't know who it's from."

"Yeah, sorry. Well, see ya later. Have a good weekend." Mike walked away.

Climbing into his car, Kurt opened the note and read.

_I'm stretching but you're just out of reach  
>You should know<br>I'm ready when you're ready for me  
>And I'm waiting for the right time<br>For the day I catch your eye  
>To let you know<br>That I'm yours to hold_

_Every single day  
>I find it hard to say<br>I could be yours alone  
>You will see someday<br>That all along the way  
>I was yours to hold<br>I was yours to hold_

_I'm stretching but you're just out of reach  
>I'm ready when you're ready for me<em>

Kurt blinked away the tears that had formed in his eyes. Whoever this was they sounded like their heart was breaking, and he couldn't do anything because he didn't know who it was. His heart ached for the unknown person, wishing he _could_ hold them. Folding the paper with shaking hands, he stowed it in his bag and turned on the car. He pulled out of the parking lot, forgetting about Finn and completely unaware of the figure watching him with teary eyes and trembling hand of their own.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: First off, I'm sorry! I fail for not updating sooner, I have no excuse…time just got away from me and before I knew it it's been like three weeks. Lol. So I apologize.**

**Second, thank you so much to everyone for the story alerts, it means a lot to me. And a special thanks to ****sweetnleo** **and****Faia Sakura**** for the favorites! It blew me away a little…not gonna lie. And it totally made my day. **

**Okay, so this is from a different point of view, not from Kurt's…..I'm a little worried about how it came out. Please drop me a line and let me know what you thought, PM or comment, it doesn't matter to me. But I would like some input.**

**I plan on there being one, **_**maybe**_** two more chapters. It depends on how the next one goes, you know how it is, the characters seem to have their own timeline sometimes **

**All reviews would be welcomed and very much appreciated!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee and no disrespect is meant towards those who do.**

My hand paused, pen poised, unable to finish the letter. 'I don't know what to write,' I thought, 'how do you write for someone like him? Words can't to portray what I really feel, they fail to describe him.'

Sighing and pressing the pen to the paper, another quote that only partially described what I felt in my heart came to mind. Finishing that letter, I pulled another paper towards me starting on another one. However futile this attempt may be I know I have to try, I have to tell him what I feel. I don't know when to tell him who I am; I know I can't go on this way forever. But….I need a little more time.

Finishing the letters I pull on my coat and head out to my car. First period was math, with him; I can leave the first letter on his desk. I still don't know what to do about the other one…maybe I can slip it in his bag somehow? We'll see.

I park my car and barely have time to grab my backpack when I see Kurt's car pulling in the parking lot. I jump out of the car, intent on getting to class before him.

Running quickly through the hallways, and ignoring the odd glances I get I make it to class with plenty of time. No one is in there yet, which means no one will see me put the letter down. Lying the letter on his desk I move to my seat, two rows over and one seat behind his, which gives me a good enough view to see his reaction. The class slowly starts filing in while I sit bouncing my knee and trying to look normal. I see Kurt walk in the door and I freeze.

Kurt is laughing at something on his phone, not looking around at anyone, which is good because I'm staring openly right now. He looks incredible today, and I can't seem to look away. His hair is perfect, as always, he is wearing a simple black button down shirt and skinny jeans. I snap out of it as he gets to his desk and sits down. He is on his phone for another minute or so before he notices the note. He slowly picks it up and looks around with a slightly stunned look on his face. I snap my head down to my desk, pretending to look busy with something. When I chance a look at him he is opening the note, I hold my breath, remembering what I wrote just this morning.

_You are the only person that can make my heart beat faster and slower at the same time._

Kurt places his right hand on his chest, right above his heart, and re-reads the note, only looking up from it when Mrs. Anders starts the class. I see him slowly fold it up and put it in his bag.

I look away then, knowing I can't gain anymore insight from watching him do our math assignment.

I know I need to get the new note to him, so when the bell rings I quickly walk to his desk and "accidentally" push off his papers.

"I'm so sorry Kurt." I say as I stoop down to pick up his papers, sliding the new note into his bag in the process. "Here you go." I say, smiling and walking away before I do or say something stupid.

I walk through the halls listlessly, lost in my thoughts.

I want him to see me; the real me behind the mask and the walls. I want him to see the person who loves him more than life itself, the person who would do anything to make him happy. He's my life, however pathetic that may be, it's true. That's the whole point of this, the secrets, the letters, I want him to know the real me inside _before _I tell him who I am.

I find myself seated in my next class without realizing how I'd gotten there, sighing I try to push Kurt out of my mind. It does no good dwelling when I can't even _see_ him to gauge his reaction to the next note. I glanced up to see my teacher had started class, sighing again; I attempted to pay attention to the lesson.

Walking into the lunchroom and sitting on the table across from Kurt, I overheard his conversation with his best friend.

"Yes 'Cedes, _another_ one." Kurt was saying. He seemed frustrated.

"What does this one say?" The girl asked, or rather demanded.

"Hold on, I don't remember the exact wording, let me just get it." He said reaching into his bag, as he pulled his hand out several papers spilled onto the floor, glowering he leaned down to clean everything up but as he straightened up he looked confused.

"What is it?" Mercedes asked.

"Another note." Kurt said.

"Yeah, that's what we were just talking about Kurt." She said, looking at him like he was losing it. I couldn't help but chuckle to myself.

"I know that Mercedes!" He barked, red-faced and irritated. "It is another new note, one I haven't read yet."

Wait a minute; he didn't get it until now? Seems fate was on my side today.

"How did it get in your bag if you haven't read it yet?" She questioned.

"How should I know? Hold on, read the old one first." He said, slipping the paper into her hand.

"That sound like a quote from a movie or something."

Someone walked in front of me, sitting down at my table. I leaned around them, trying to get a view of Kurt again. Whoever had sat down was trying to talk to me, but I tuned it out trying to catch on to Kurt's conversation again.

"Hope guides me, that is what gets me through the day and especially the night. The hope that after you're gone from my sight, it will not be the last time that I look upon you." I heard Mercedes reading. "Now that is from a movie, I've heard it before. But I can't remember where…" She said, trailing off.

"A Knights Tale." Kurt said quickly, staring at the wall with a dazed look on his face.

"What?" Mercedes asked.

"Oh, um, that's the movie it's from." Kurt said.

"How do you know that?" She asked, smirking.

I missed his response, as the person in front of me blocked my view and started talking even louder. Finally I looked up to see Rachel.

"What?" I asked, bitingly. I was irritated, I wanted to know what Kurt thought about the note and now I had no chance of finding out.

"I wanted to say hi. You seem so lonely lately; I thought maybe I could help." She said, smiling.

"How could you help Rachel?" I asked.

"Well, I thought we could do something tonight, go to a movie, or you could come to my house for dinner."

"Oh, well that's very nice of you Rachel, but I'm swamped tonight. I have tons of homework and chores and stuff to do." I said.

"I really think it would be good for you, maybe we could do some homework together? I'll even provide study snacks!"

"No, thanks, but I really can't." I said.

"Okay, well maybe another time. Just remember I'm here if you want someone to talk to okay?" She said, giving me a sympathetic smile. Did she know? Did she know about Kurt? No, she's just being friendly and slightly overbearing as usual.

"Yeah, thanks. Bye." I got up from the table and started walking away only to stop upon hearing Kurt's voice.

"I mean I don't know how much more I can take. I need to know who it is. The poem and quotes are sweet and the song was beautiful and heartbreaking, but who is this person. What is their ultimate goal? Are they planning on continuing like this for much longer? I don't want to sound rude because obviously they are in pain and are unable to find a way to tell me in person how they feel, but this isn't easy for me either. Not only am I an insanely curious person and not knowing is driving me crazy, but the longer they do this, the harder the end result will be. I don't want to break someone's heart, but I need to be true to myself, I'm afraid I'm going to end up crushing them, and the longer it takes for me to know who it is and make things clear to them, the more it's going to hurt us both." Kurt sighed, burying his face in his arms. Mercedes rubbed his back soothingly.

"I know Kurt, I know. Maybe they will tell you soon." She offered.

I didn't hear Kurt's reply because I left the cafeteria, heading for my car and ignoring the fact the school was only half-over. I had something important to do. I have to tell Kurt who I am, and soon. Knowing he is worried and hurting kills me, it was never my intention and I have to fix it. But one more note, one more that is from me, the real me, and then I will tell him. I just need him to understand, to see who I really am.

As I jump in my car I start to wonder if he will be happy with it being me, maybe he will like the real me, and give me a chance. Maybe he will believe me when I tell him I love him, and maybe he will feel the same. I feel the hope burning in my chest, but I push it down. I can't get my hopes up; I will not build myself up just to be crushed. The most important thing is that he knows, that I tell him, I can't keep it to myself any more. It's tearing me up inside.

After making it home I ran to my bedroom, sitting on the edge of my bed I started to think, about what to say, how to tell him, when to tell him and most importantly how I would handle it when he rejected me. I had known all along that that would be the most likely outcome.

I picture his face, his beautiful face and it comes to me. Grabbing a paper and pen I write, it just comes, flowing unlike any other time I've tried. Like there was a barrier, a dam in my heart blocking the words and feelings, but the desperation to prove my love and to ease Kurt's pain broke it, and now it's easy, simple, right.

**AN 2: So obviously the second quote was from A Knights Tale **** The first was from The Hot Chick. **


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Well, another chapter is up ****And no, it's not the last. There will be one more, and I am considering writing an epilogue. I guess that depends on the feedback I get, and people's feelings on how it ends. We'll see. If there are any mistakes in this I apologize, I noticed a few in previous chapters and I hope I got them all this time. Also, I change POV's in this more than once, and they should be separated by dotted lines. I hope it's not confusing.**

**Thank you to everyone! The reviews, alerts and favorites were incredible! It means so much to me! Special thanks to ber1719, ****adommyadisonmurdockrulz****, ****Faia Sakura****, ****I See You Standing There Alone****, ****tsukinotora****, and ****stevehixn****! **

**I hope you like this **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, and no disrespect is meant towards those who do.**

Kurt woke up before his alarm went off, and dragging himself out of bed he headed for the bathroom for a shower. His head ached from lack of sleep and the circles under his eyes looked so dark he was afraid they'd become permanent.

Last night had been fitful at best; he tossed and turned, having nightmares about breaking his secret admirer's heart. His over-active brain had come up with a multitude of scenarios, each worse than the last. He didn't know what to do; the only thing he knew was that he couldn't take another night like that.

After his moisturizing routine he glanced in the mirror, the dark circles were much less visible; nodding in approval of his reflection he left his room.

"Morning." He said as he entered the kitchen, sitting next to Finn.

"Hey kiddo." Burt said, without looking up from the morning paper.

"Where's Carole?" Kurt asked.

"She had an early shift today." Burt answered. Kurt nodded in understanding and pulled a bowl towards him, pouring himself some cereal.

"Kurt what's wrong?" Finn asked, concerned.

"I'm just tired Finn." I yawned.

"There's something else, something you're not telling us." Kurt sighed, why did Finn have to choose _now_ to be observant?

"He's right Kurt; I've noticed it since Friday night, what's bothering you?" Burt asked.

"Nothing dad," Kurt sighed, exasperated. "Really, I'm just tired. I didn't sleep well last night."

"Okay, if you say you're fine I'll believe you. But remember, you can talk to me about anything Kurt, and I mean anything."

"Thanks dad, I appreciate it." Kurt smiled.

Kurt finished his breakfast in silence, trying desperately not to fall asleep at the table.

"Well, I'd better go." Kurt said, standing up.

After parking, Kurt headed into the school walking to his locker on auto-pilot, thinking about the last few days. Today marked six days since he'd received the first note. Six days and it was already driving him crazy. He wanted to know who it was, if they really felt anything for him or if this was some joke. He wanted to get the hard part over with if it ended up being someone he didn't have feelings for. And Kurt knew that that was the most likely outcome. 'There are only a few guys at this school who I like, and I doubt it's one of them.' He thought. 'Though, I know who I want it to be.'

Opening his locker, he grabbed the books he would need for his classes and closed it, gasping when he found himself inches from Sam.

"Sorry Kurt," Sam said, smiling.

"Don't worry about it Sam, you just startled me." Kurt smiled.

"So I wanted to ask your opinion on the assignment this week for Glee." He said.

"Oh. Okay, what are you singing?" Kurt asked.

"Well, that's the thing. We haven't decided yet, but I think Santana and I need some help. We are really having trouble finding something that fits both of our voices."

"Okay, well, I'll give it some thought and I'll get back to you."

"Thanks Kurt, you're the best." Sam smiled, and walked away.

Kurt immediately pulled out his ipod and headed to class, scrolling through his music to find a good song for Sam and Santana.

"Kurt! Over here." Mercedes called to him as soon as he walked through the door to second period

"How are you, Kurt?" She asked as he approached. "Better than yesterday?"

"I'm fine. I didn't get much sleep last night, but today has been good so far. I had a test first period, so I didn't have much time to let my mind wander. Plus, I haven't gotten a new note today." Kurt said, sitting next to his best friend.

"Is that good or bad?" She asked.

"I haven't decided yet." Kurt replied.

Mercedes nodded, pulling out her phone and typing for a few minutes before asking suddenly, "Who do you want it to be?"

"I, uh….well, I don't know. I haven't really thought about it." Kurt turned bright red, knowing she would catch him in the lie.

"Uh huh, sure. Of course you haven't." Mercedes winked.

"Oh, shut up."

...

I sat in the back of the room, watching Kurt talk to Mercedes. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I was content to just watch. Kurt's face is so open and honest when he talks to his friends. You don't have to guess what he's feeling, it's there for everyone to see, and right now he was happy and untroubled. It was good to see that after yesterday at lunch. I can't stand him being upset, especially when I'm the cause of it.

I haven't given him the new note yet, I wasn't sure how to get it to him, or when I should, all I knew is it had to be today.

I didn't pay attention when class started; I couldn't even tell you if we had an assignment; let alone what it might be. My mind wandered, thinking about what I was going to do later today.

When the bell rang I headed to lunch and sat alone. I know I had been alienating myself lately, but I couldn't find the energy for small talk with my friends. My internal battle was taking all the energy I had, and I only talked to people when I had to. With the exception of Rachel yesterday, no one had made any effort to get me involved in weeks. This leaves me free to observe or more frequently, wallow.

I don't really remember getting to this point, where I couldn't think of anything or anyone but Kurt. I've had feelings for him for months, but it's gradually taken me over to the point where I couldn't keep it in anymore, I had no outlet for my feelings and frustrations and I knew that it was time to do something. But of course I am so gutless that I couldn't face him in person; I had to start the letters. Which in retrospect was probably really stupid, it only dragged out the inevitable.

...

Kurt sighed, pulling all his things together and heading to Glee. The day had been long and frustrating. It had started out fine, but the later it got with no sign of a new letter the more disappointed he became. He was so frustrated with himself for getting upset over it. After all he had wanted it to stop, maybe not abruptly with no confirmation of who it had been, but he _had_ wanted it to stop. Now he wasn't so sure.

Kurt entered the choir room to find it deserted. Mr. Schue wasn't here, no one from the club, not even Mercedes. What the heck was going on?

Bewildered, he pulled out his phone, pressing number 3 on speed dial.

"What's up boo?" Mercedes voice answered.

"Where is everyone?" Kurt asked.

"Probably on their way home."

"But why isn't anyone at Glee rehearsal? There was supposed to be one today."

"No Kurt. It was canceled. Mr. Schue told us all yesterday when we left. You don't remember that?"

"No. I don't."

"Yeah, he has some doctor's appointment or something like that. Sorry you didn't hear it, I should have reminded you, you were a little distracted yesterday."

"No it's fine, it's my fault. Anyway, I'm going to go, I'll see you later."

"'Kay, bye Kurt."

"Bye." Shaking his head he pocketed his phone. He was about to leave when he heard footsteps in the hall, looking up he saw Rachel enter the choir room.

"Oh, Kurt. I'm sorry; I didn't realize you were here. I guess we both had the same idea to use the lack of a meeting today for personal rehearsal." She walked over to the piano and sat down on the bench. "Would you like to do some warm-ups with me?"

"Uh, no thanks Rachel, I was just leaving." Kurt turned to leave but was stopped by her hand on his arm.

"Don't be silly Kurt, you were here first. If you really want to rehearse alone I'll leave. Maybe I'll use the auditorium. Here, sit, practice." She forced Kurt down onto the bench and practically skipped to the door.

"Wait!" Kurt called, picking up a paper from the piano, "You forgot this."

"No, no that's not mine. I didn't come in with anything. Are you sure it's not yours?" She asked with a wink.

Confused Kurt opened the paper, it was addressed to him.

"How did you know this was mine?" He asked, looking up. Rachel was no where in sight. 'What was that all about?' He wondered.

Turning back to the paper his heart skipped a beat, it a new letter from his admirer. Trying not to get too excited he began to read.

_Kurt,_

_I've tried using quotes and songs to describe what I feel for you but they never capture it completely, they are a pale imitation of what I feel. For how could anyone's words perfectly capture your sparkling blue eyes with their endless depth and indisputable beauty? How could anyone describe your perfect hair, flawless skin, or you're incredible voice, so perfect and pure that the angels are jealous. Hearing you sing fills my heart and soul with longing; so much that I never want you to stop, I would be content to listen to you sing for the rest of my life. How could words capture your fierce loyalty to your family and friends, the passion you put into everything you do, or your smile…the way it lights up a room? You brighten my world; you make me forget the pain, the disappointment, the fear. Every morning I wake up and drag myself to school knowing that despite everything else in my life, you will be there, strong and proud. You get me through the day, and you're the last person I think of before I sleep. You're the epitome of happiness, beauty and love. You are kind, gentle, and compassionate. You are everything I want and the only thing I can't have. You are everything that is right in this world; and I love you. _

As he read, tears had started falling. This was the most heartfelt letter he'd received so far; it was honest and so much better than the previous one's because of it. This was real and from the heart, and the fact that someone would write those things about him left Kurt in awe. It might not be Shakespeare, but for Kurt it was better, because it wasn't written for Juliet or Olivia, it was for him.

Kurt wanted more than anything to know who this was; he wanted to know what to do and say when he saw them face to face. The thought of breaking their heart was unbearable, but the thought of dragging this on and getting their hopes up was worse. Although Kurt honestly wondered if that was what would happen now. He felt a connection to whoever had written to him, whether that was simply because he had never had someone profess their love to him this way or not was a question he couldn't answer. How could he when he didn't know who it was? If this burning in his chest was the beginning of feelings for the unknown person how is he to know, how can he distinguish when he has nothing more than words to apply them to?

...

I walked down the hallway, towards the choir room, knowing that that is where I'd find him. When I reached the door I stopped, spotting him inside.

Kurt stood in the middle of the room, one arm wrapped around his chest, the other holding the letter, shaking slightly.

My heart broke at the sight, and I wanted to step forward, wrap my arms around him and comfort him but I was frozen in place. This was the moment I had been waiting for and I couldn't take it, couldn't make that leap. Even though the thought of walking away from my chance was excruciating, I didn't think I could do it. My heart was thudding in my chest, beating so fast and so loud it felt as though it would leave my body at any second. I looked down at my feet, willing myself to take the step that would decide my fate.

I whipped my head up when I heard him speak, sure he'd seen me, but what I heard was not what I expected.

"Who are you?" Kurt asked, speaking aloud, tears streaming down his face, still staring at the letter.

It shook me to my core, hearing him like that; pained, overwhelmed, and in obvious need of comfort. I felt light headed; everything seemed to be spinning as I realized it was time. There was no other option, no time for second guessing. This was it, my last, no my _only_ chance. I took a breath, tears stinging my eyes, heart going double time and took a step forward.

"It's me Kurt."

**AN 2: Please don't hurt me! I promise the next one will be up soon, it just worked out really well like this and I liked it…so….yeah… P.S. Review would be freaking awesome! **


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Told you it would be up soon. Just had to edit it! It's not very long, just so you know lol. ****Umm….fluff ahead. Seriously wasn't planning on it being this fluffy, guess I'm just a romantic. I hope you like it and you aren't disappointed with who it is. Feedback would totally make my day, so please take a minute to review **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, and no disrespect is meant towards those who do.**

"Sam?" Kurt gasped. Sam just nodded, unsure what to do.

Kurt couldn't speak anymore; instead he crossed the room in a few strides and threw his arms around the man in front of him. Sam wound his arms around Kurt, holding him close and reveling in the feeling he was sure would be gone soon.

"It was you?" Kurt asked, after a few minutes.

"Yes, it was me." Kurt said nothing, just squeezed him tighter and started pulling away. 'This is it,' Sam thought, 'he's going to tell me it's flattering, but he doesn't feel that way about me.' But he didn't.

Kurt pulled away and stared straight into Sam's eyes. "This was really you?"

"Yes." Sam said his heart racing. His nerves were taking over, and he was lucky he had managed a response at all.

"But….and don't take this the wrong way, since when did you become so…poetic?"

"Kurt," He laughed, that was not what he expected. Brushing the hair out of Kurt's eyes he continued, "Just because I don't get all…"poetic" when I'm talking to people normally, doesn't mean I can't, especially in writing. Besides, you bring it out in me." He said, smiling.

"But, I thought you were straight." Kurt said, cocking his head to one side. "Well I mean, I thought you were gay when we met but you kept telling me you weren't until I left you alone. And you dated Quinn, so I don't understand where this is coming from."

"I was in denial, I did like Quinn, but more as a friend than anything. Besides, does it really matter? What matters to me is that you changed me, and helped me realize who I am and what I want. You're the most incredible person I've ever met, it's no wonder I fell in love with you."

Kurt froze, staring at Sam as though he'd never seen him before. Sam took Kurt's hand and held it over his own heart, which was beating rapidly. "This is what happens when I'm around you, or even think of you Kurt. You are a beautiful person, inside and out, and I love you."

Kurt's breath caught in his throat, his own heart picked up speed as he reached out the hand that wasn't being held and curled it around Sam's neck. He felt as though he had no control over his body as he leaned, never once breaking eye contact. "I'm glad it was you." He said, just before their lips touched.

Sam's heart was bursting with joy. One arm wrapped around Kurt's waist, pulling him close, while the other wound into Kurt's hair.

Kurt pulled away, breathless and a little embarrassed. "Sorry." He mumbled.

"Why are you sorry?" Sam asked, confused.

"I wasn't planning on kissing you."

"Oh, well I'm glad you did. But, why did you do it?" Sam asked.

"Because, oh gosh this is going to sound so corny, because my heart told me to, it felt right." Kurt responded. Sam's answering smile was dazzling; he looked as though all his dreams had come true.

Sam leaned forward, and pressed light kisses on Kurt's cheeks and neck, all the while whispering in his ear, "You're are the most incredible, beautiful, perfect person I have ever met." Kurt's breathing was coming faster with every kiss. "I love you, Kurt."

Kurt pulled Sam away from him, ignoring the flash of hurt he saw in his eyes Kurt took a deep breath. "I love you too, Sam." He smiled at the look of absolute love on Sam's face before pulling him back in. "But don't go getting a big head about it."

Kurt closed the gap, crushing his lips to Sam's. He had never felt so calm or happy, and as Sam tightened his grip on him, he knew he was where he should be. Call him crazy; call him romantic, it didn't matter. All that mattered is that Sam continues to hold him, kiss him and love him.

The End


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